Christmas - Less or More

Tough times and spending on the holidays.  That seems to be the big issue now-and-days.

Unfortunately we were a victim of this decision this year again.  Back in 2008 we were first hit with the loss of a job suddenly because of the economy.  We had a nice home that we were renting and going to buy and lost it.  We were given the bad news during December to leave by January with my husband now being unemployed and I working part-time.  We found a townhouse apartment to live in  that year and six months.  Back on topic, we had one daughter in high school her last year, one in grade school and kindergarten.  Our oldest was working at the time after school had band and other school activities.  She would hand over her check with no questions asked, thank goodness for her help.  We had good friends and daughters coworkers helped us through that because Christmas was going to be nil. I couldn't even express the gratitude we had at that time. 

As time moved on my husband got a good job working at a job he loved, we moved into a three bedroom home in the town we wanted to live in and I became pregnant with our fourth child unexpectantly! Our oops baby (lol). 

Things were looking up and we were doing fine.  We got a semi new/used car and I was a stay-at-home mom again for another 5-6 years. We managed to stay afloat with downsizing to the one car, living without cable, basic phone, basic internet and a very fine budget.  We were skimming the surface like everyone else.  We also were paying for bad financial decision from the past.  Ahhh the things we learn.

Time moves on and we moved to a smaller house and less rent 3 1/2 years later.  Mind you we have been renting homes for a while.  This one was a pit stop we were hoping for at least another two years so we could buy our own, to having to move again a year later because our lease was up, owner wanted to sell, and the unthinkable happened again, husband lost his job after five years.  This was out of the blue.  Farmers were not able to get big tax breaks for farm equipment so that led the company to make cuts and he was one on top of many others that lost their jobs too. 

So here we are again jobless and needing to move again.  Thank goodness after a long summer of searching my husband settled in a factory job again.  We are blessed.  After finding the job we were still hunting for a place to live and coming to the thought that we may have to move in with my mom until we found a place in the area we were already in so we didn't have to relocate the kids to a different school.  Blessed again we found a home to rent that was a little bigger has a huge yard and by a local park.  God is good.  All this with two months before Christmas and we are thinking, "what are we going to do". 

This leads me to this topic, less or more, spend what we do not have, borrow from friends and family, or live with a new tradition.  I have always wanted Christmas to be less about gifts and more about time and family and true meaning on the story of Mary and Joseph's journey to being parents of our saviour.  Well we took the plung.  I do believe God had his hand in this the whole time.  We did worry how the kids would take it. Now the kids are 3, 11, and soon to be 16 so can you imagine if this went bad.  Well to my surprise we have done a good job raising our kids. 

Satan was working on my husband and I in making us feel guilty.  This year we decorated and watched a lot of the holiday shows.  My 11 year old had her list made out and was hoping for some gifts that were out of our range.  When asked "do you think I'll get some of these from Santa!" well, here was our window of opportunity (live or die) take the plung.  I opened up with "you know your getting to the age that Santa doesn't give to you like you were when you were little", I get this big eyed look like is he "real" look.  My hands start sweating and my husband gives me the raised eyebrow look.  I said calmly and pray for guidance "Santa is mostly for the little kids because the don't understand a lot".  I try not to go far on that in fear the topic gets to deep and I may not have answers for.  I proceed "As you get older the gifts lessen in quantity and become that one gift that you really want that Santa can help mom an dad with.  Sometimes that may be the only one you get depending on the demand and how expensive it is, and sometimes we don't get what we want no matter how much we want it because it may not be what is needed and if it is for selfish reasons.  The main goal is that we have to accept this and remember the reason for the season.  We have to keep the spirit alive for the little ones like your little sister then every now and then when you get older you get one from Santa".  I know this is a run-around answer and I have some family and friends that would disagree with the way I handled it. I just can't bring myself to be the one who does the "dirty deed" the truth when we spend their childhood building this fantasy up.  I know my older two children have figured it out and play along with me but I never had to tell them they just accepted it. 

The decision has been made went from 5-6 presents a piece to just one to the 11 yr old and one to the 16 yr old and three to the three year old.  Is this the way I wanted it but there was no choice. It was better than nothing.  My husband and I really struggled with this and felt like poo over it.  A couple of days before the big day we really concentrated on stories of family and scriptures that I could think of and the reason why Christ was born and the role he had in his life from birth til death was for us to be forgiven and to be thankful each and everyday for what we have and that one day when Jesus comes back to reign on earth forever there will be no suffering and only happiness.  I think it hit home with my 11 yr old. I asked her if she would be disappointed if she did not get everything  but maybe a few, she said no that family and God was the real reason.  She said, "I'm not going to lie, I would love to have a new phone, mini Ipad, and more but those are just things."  I was floored.  Maybe I need to listen to myself more lol. 

The 16 yr old I think was so happy to buy for her family with her money from her job that the thought of not getting a lot was not a bother to her.  She was real excited to go shopping with her older sister.  She adores her so much and hangs on to every minute alone with her.  Now it has never been like this and they still have their tifs. 

The big day comes Christmas morning and it goes off without a problem.  They get gift certificates from their grandparents, big sister and fiance and my mom included.  My mom made them hand crochet angels to hang in their rooms, puzzles and coloring book "Frozen" themed.  Now you know the 3 yr old is in her relm.  So out of all again we did something right and were blessed with family time, movies, games and laughter.

I don't want anyone to think I'm shaking my finger at anyone who goes over board or indulges in the holidays. I have been guilty of it as well.  But, times are changing and are getting harder and harder and I dont want my kids loosing the focus of the real meaning of Christmas.  So if you found yourself struggling this holiday I hope this helped you.  Your not alone.  I do believe though we have started a new tradition and will continue.

Me, myself, I and everyone else.

I am probably no different than any other mom with kids, my only problem is that we are all female, the ages range between 9 yrs between the first and second, 4 yrs between the second and third, and 8 years apart from the third and fourth.  I guess it is not that crazy but the age span is what is getting me.  We really tried to have them all close to age but obviously God thought it as funny to space them out so when you thought you were done with one age group the one behind the other started in.  I strongly do not recommend this to anyone!   I go from dealing with a semi new adult (21) and enjoying now an adult conversation to some what of a crash and burn of a tweenager (12) with moods you can not figure out because the first child you managed to scare the crap out of so you did not really deal with the mood swings to grade schooler (8) that you can still persuade to be sweet and cute, to an  infant that makes your heart melt when they smile, coos, and puts you in a trance like state to think "Awww this is not to bad", BAM the aroma of a diaper, fussy teething and baby mood swings to "What the H E double hockey sticks was I thinking".  You give the evil eye to your husband, "you touch me again I will divorce you"; like that would take care of my problems.

Now I will have to admit I am very fortunate to be able to stay home to raise my kids.  My husband works very hard, 15 hour or so days, five to six days a week.  We live on a very limited, I say limited, budget.  We do not have cable, we have the bare necessities of phone service and Internet and a not so new car.  We have the average debt that every family has so we are sitting in a boat with a million other families.  I don't consider this a "Rant and Rave" blog, just a chance to let out my frustration in a comical or sarcastic way.  I don't really care to get into any politically correct debate and everyone has the right to be heard.  If you don't like what is said here just move on to someone else.  I just think the things I mention will be things you have thought of or shook your head at or just say "Good Grief."

Yes, we all live under the same roof in a three bedroom house.  This is where my crazy not so important life starts from 6 a.m. to 11:30 p.m. Monday through Sunday.  I added the Ha as a sarcastic note.

Now do you ask, how does your husband deal with this?  He doesn't, he fishes a lot, which  I guess saves his sanity.  Do I resent this, well depends on what day you ask me. ;-)  I really don't mind it so much.  I get lucky sometimes and can shake the 8 year old off on him and giggle when I do.  Now the 12 year old, a couple of years ago, did not mind going. But now there is "ewwww, my hair, I'm bored, I'm hungry, how long are we going to be." So it is not worth the rolling of the eyes and raised lip look when I suggest it.

I know I make my 12 year old daughter sound like and handful, but she really isn't it is just the communication that kills me.   You can pretty much slide her a meal under the door or on to the computer desk and not hear a word from her until it is something she needs.  Now what is the deal with the communication you ask. Well let me tell you the volume.  This beautiful petite girl can speak without moving her lips and the volume is so low that you are constantly asking "what, what" then you get the eye rolls and the huff and so on.  I am really hoping this is a phase.  I have to laugh though when she gets all worked up she can be quite comical.  She truly is a sweet girl but has the passion for arguing and debating from her father.  Geez oh Pete, she is relentless in this department.  I like how she will debate with you like you are getting a deal if you let me do this and her memory is like an elephant.  The big clash comes with her and her oldest sister who is now 21, living at home and in college.  There are tons of debates of "why can she do this and not me?" Well, she is an adult.  That, you can tell, goes over real well because she sees her as a pain in her side.  There is constant bickering and arguing. This will lead me to the oldest daughter.

I will have to consider myself extremely lucky to have a good role model for my younger children.  My oldest daughter has always been well behaved growing up, but we have had our fair share of teenager years.  I remember when she asked us for a sibling and we did honestly try and 9 years later she got her wish.  We were thrilled as this would be my husbands first child.  Yes, my oldest was from a previous marriage and we will leave it at that.  I have to laugh listening to both of them talk and debate things.  You get the 21 year old that will go down 9 years in age to fuss with her sibling.  Now I ask why do you do this? Just ignore it or go above it.  She will just get so flustered and exasperated with dealing with her and state "I liked it when she was little".  LOL

Now my third daughter is a world of her own.  She is a character.  This kid can sing about anything from brushing her teeth, coloring in her book, looking out the window, you name it she will sing it.  She is a busy body.  If I could harness her energy I would make a million.  No Joke.  She has now adapted her 12 year old sister's attitude (at least she thinks) until I give her the evil eye and threaten to sell everything she owns and then we are right back on page.  My biggest complaint at this time are the marks she gets from school on her take home book to have signed everyday.  How hard is it to stay on green!  Yellow and orange are the colors that come home with occasional green.  Well let me tell you this is why she is a busy body, she is constantly busy doing what she wants and not what is expected.  Go figure.  You know I'm kind of okay with this, she will be independent and self reliant for the future, just hard to convince the teacher of this.  Here is an example of a situation that has happened.

• Phone call from Principal at school! Ring, ring, (I pick up) Hi this is Mrs. (name protected), the principal from Emily's school. (me) yes, is everything okay.  (Principal) well we had an incident at school today and I wanted to inform you of this, but Emily is not in trouble just wanted to make sure you know ahead of time of what happened.  (Me) Uh okay, what happened.  (Principal) well Emily was caught pole dancing on the playground today!  (Me) WHAT!  (Principal) Yup, she was teaching several of the girls how to swing on the Tether Ball pole and there was a little boy that was doing music for them as well!  I was summoned by the teacher on duty and I told her that is something we do not do here and where did you see that at.  (Emily) well I was watching America's Got Talent and there was a guy! (yes) that was dancing and I wanted to do the same thing!  I thought it was neat! (Principal) Chuckles and said, she is not in trouble but explained to her that is something we can not do here.  (Me) Oh my Gosh! (not really the word I used) So sorry did not think that she would pick up on that.  (Principal) Don't worry it was kind of funny, we had a good laugh, but had to say something to you in case we get calls from the other parents that Emily was teaching them to pole dance!  

Needless to say I had to call my husband at work and let him know ahead of time what was happening.  His response was laughing.  Honestly that is all you can do is laugh once the horror and shock of the news passed.  Lets just hope this does not become her future.  LOL.  I can imagine some of you may have received  some type of outrageous phone call from your school.  I just had to share this one.


Now we move on to the newest addition to the family.  Our little now 6 month old.  You really can't complain about her at this point.  We are climbing the hill of teething and restlessness of a baby wanting to do more.  She can melt you heart immediately.  The girls all fight over who is going to love and hold her.  I laugh now at this because in about a year and a half they will be complaining about how she is into everything they own.  Oh the joys of raising a family.

Really in all good humor I am so blessed with beautiful and healthy children.  I just never imagined them being so far apart in age.  Geeezzz. God does have a sense of humor.  LOL.  I love the comedy the good and bad times we share with them.  I do believe that it makes me grow into a good parent and makes me think on how good or bad of a job I'm doing.  I strongly believe being a parent and not friend, in my case, enriches us as a family as well as God in our lives each and everyday.  Again I am truly blessed with a loving husband and beautiful children.

The purpose of my blog was to just vent out the crazy stuff that comes in my life and too the everyday complications of raising kids.  I hope you enjoy and laugh at this while drinking your coffee.  I will try to keep updates of the funny and serious things that come across my mind.  I never want to be judgemental about anything but to just vent my opinion of everyday life and it's craziness of it all.